Today 9 years ago Ben, my partner, ended his life. 9 years seems a long time ago, but sometimes scenes from the past come back to us as if they’ve just occurred. The human mind and memory is a strange thing. This scene was introduced by a song I kept hearing in my head last couple of days. Two weeks before Ben died we went to Rotterdam to choose a kitchen and equipment, I had just bought an apartment and we still had some things to sort out for the house. We were both tired.