Today 9 years ago Ben, my partner, ended his life. 9 years seems a long time ago, but sometimes scenes from the past come back to us as if they’ve just occurred. The human mind and memory is a strange thing. This scene was introduced by a song I kept hearing in my head last couple of days. Two weeks before Ben died we went to Rotterdam to choose a kitchen and equipment, I had just bought an apartment and we still had some things to sort out for the house. We were both tired. Ben because he was tired of life, me because I was at my rope’s end and really didn’t know what to do. With him and with us. The salesman asked us if we were going to live together in this new apartment. I said yes, Ben
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